Utsunomiya, Japan - Samurai chops off realtor’s arm, wounds two others.

Salt Lake City, UT - Altercation outside store leads to sword fight.

Near Minneapolis, MN - Man threatens to behead girlfriend with sword.

Glasgow, Scotland - Man attacked with sword for loving wrong woman.

Redcar, UK - Sword brandished in dispute over cutting through private garden.

Lansing, MI - Caped swordsman barricades himself in home after setting it on fire.

Springfield, VA - Police shoot sword-wielding child pornographer.

Dubai, UAE - Gang swordfight puts 4 in hospital, 7 in jail.

Spokane, WA - Man fights off home invaders with sword.

Philadelphia, PA - Swordfight breaks out in front of police.

Utica, NY - Man swings sword at ex’s boyfriend, hits own child instead.

Ravenna, OH - Man starts sword fight with neighbour.

Hyderabad, India - Gangster/autorickshaw driver killed with sword.

Seattle, WA - Sword-swallower among 6 victims of insane mass-killer.

Burnley, UK - £3000 in antique swords stolen by burglars.

Osaka, Japan - $190,000 in antique swords stolen by thieves.

Moose Jaw, SK - Man with sword throws bricks at police from rooftop, then jumps down chimney, gets stuck in furnace.

Palm Coast, FL - Pervert attacks own computer with sword to prevent FBI from finding his child porn.

East Riding, UK - Women knocks over boyfriend’s parent’s ashes; he tries to kill her with a sword.

Londonderry, Northern Ireland - Victim of sword robbery wants better anti-sword laws.

Sunderland, UK - Pensioner fights off sword-wielding burglar with his sudoku pen.

Madison, WI - Man waves sword around trying to get cops to shoot him.

Detroit, MI - Man attacks teenagers with sword.

Calgary, AB - Mentally ill man attacks everyone with sword.

Petah Tikva, Israel - Upset over noise, man puts construction workers to the sword.

Perth, Australia - Carjacker fails to steal car, even after hitting owner with sword.

Manchester, NH - Thieves steal Civil War sword on camera.

Glens Falls, NY - Caffeine-addled burglar greets police with sword.

Sydney, Australia - Brawl over loud music ends with chainsaw-vs-samurai sword duel.

Seal Beach, CA - Coked-up son attacks mom with 5-foot samurai sword.

Springfield, OH - Landlord kills tenant with samurai sword.

Crookwell, Australia - Swordsman takes a few swings at a local thug, gets sentenced.

London, UK - Members of murderous sword mob sentenced to 18 years.

Manchester, UK - Soap opera love affair between probation worker and samurai sword killer ends badly.

Belfast, Northern Ireland - Murder victim suffered 50 sword wounds.

Waterbury, CT - Swordsman chases teenagers.

Palm Coast, FL - Son with sword defends mother from gun-wielding step-dad.

Englewood, CO - Swordsman foils robbery attempt.

Corby, UK - Man greets tax collector with sword.

Banbridge, Northern Ireland - Samurai sword rampager is sentenced.

Longview, WA - Shoplifter fights off security with sword.

Derry, Northern Ireland - Man robs smokes with a samurai sword.

Rancho Cucamonga, CA - Firefighter kills wife with sword.

Fort Wayne, IN - Man attacks roommate with sword.

Austin, TX - Schizo man commits murder with a cane sword.

Gotland, Sweden - Cat-sitter refuses to return cats, scares owner away with samurai sword.

Budapest, Hungary - Man goes on rampage, kills four and wounds three with sword, until 135 counter-terrorism officers take him down.

Chestnuthill, PA - Meth-head attacks closet with sword.

Indianapolis, IN - Woman attacked with sword.

Islington, UK - Sword-wielding thug sentenced to 13 years.

Halifax, UK - Pair goes shopping with sword and hammer.

Newcastle, UK - Father attacked by bicycle samurai.

Yuba City, CA - Several men arrested with swords, brass knuckles, after a fight.

Saskatoon, SK - Swordsmen rob store, get caught a few blocks away.

Lancaster, CA - Criminals grab cane sword, deliver a beat-down on store owner, until citizen intervenes and delivers beat-down on criminals.

Lancaster, PA - Crazed swordsman warns city about epicenter of destruction.

Leicester, UK - Low-IQ man arrested with sword in car.

Winchester, UK - 19-year-old arrested carrying samurai sword.

Telford, UK - Man arrested with sword and knuckle-duster.

Burnsville, MN - Man strangles girlfriend while looking for his samurai sword.

Jacksonville, FL - Man breaks into home with sword, gets shot.

Daytona Beach, FL - Restaurant worker subdues burglar with sword, beer bottle.

St. Paul, MN - Drug dealers kill debtor with sword, bayonet.

Alberquerque, NM - Police try to pick up man for mental evaluation, but he fends them off with a sword and tries to set his house on fire.

Belfast, ME - Man threatens girlfriend with homemade sword.

Tipperary, Ireland - Pub argument ends in sword fight.

Middlesbrough, UK - Drug-addled soldier attacks kebab shop with samurai sword. 

Omaha, NE - Depressed pirate uses his sword against taser.

Binghamton, NY - Offended by implication that he caused a death, man attacks father with sword.

New Rochelle, NY - Angry man cuts mother with sword, tosses baby.

Bishop Aukland, UK - Villagers robbed by swordsmen.

Finspång, Sweden - Mad swordsman attacks car.

Nairobi, Kenya - Well-dressed swordsman attacking women on their way to work.

Brisbane, Australia - Toy in yard leads to sword fight between neighbours.

Billings, Montana - Drunk fires gun in own home, then slashes everything to ribbons with a sword after he runs out of bullets.

Chandler, AZ - Woman takes boyfriend hostage with a large sword.

Mississauga, ON - Hearing a murder upstairs, man hides in garage with a sword, and asks his girlfriend to investigate.

Worcester, UK - Man threatens his girlfriend’s ex with a sword.

Wheelersburg, OH - Hand amputated in sword fight.

Melbourne, Australia - Female LARPer attended by paramedics after taking sword blow to head.

Norwalk, CT - Drunk arrested for waving sword at freeway on-ramp.

Jacksonville, FL - Swordsman shot and killed after breaking into home.

Chesterfield, UK - Vandals attack man’s home; he tries to defend it with a sword, but police charge him and let the vandals go.

Lavington, Australia - Homeless man brandishes sword at police.

Sydney, Australia - Dispute between neighbours ends with swords drawn.

Salem, MA - Man destroys house, leaps from window with sword when police show up.

Melbourne, Australia - Drunk swordsman sentenced to jail.

Hörnefors, Sweden - Psychotic samurai stabber sentence shortened.

Middleton, UK - Swordsmen swipe supermarket cash.

Great Yarmouth, UK - Marketplace samurai gets suspended sentence.

Marin City, CA - Sword-wielding bicyclist arrested.

Sunderland, UK - Model boyfriends snaps, goes all samurai on girlfriend.

It depends…

Virginia Beach, VA - Best Buy shoplifters try to swordfight their way to freedom. (video)

Indore, India - Groom accidentally kills member of own wedding party with a sword.

San Antonio, TX - Student threatens another with ornamental sword. (video)

Point Cook, Australia - Sword stolen from home.

London, UK - Swordsman keeps coming, after being tasered and shot several times.

Rio Rancho, NM - Swordsman chases everyone out of his home.

Phoenixville, PA - Drug dealer threatens bar crowd with sword.

Milwaukee, WI - Convicted douchebag arrested for threatening to “gut” woman with a sword. Claims he was defending himself against a backscratcher.

Louisville, KY - Son attacks father with antique sword.

Grenada, CA - Sword-wielding robbers steal cash, car.

Lufkin, TX - Wierdo swings samurai sword at college students.

Dublin, Ireland - Gas station robbed at swordpoint.

Peoria, IL - Man walks around Peoria wearing a 33-inch sword with spikes on the guard. Police confiscate the weapon because the spikes might contravene laws on “knuckle weapons”.

Richmond, VA - Man threatens to cut off girlfriend’s head with sword.

Skelmersdale, UK - Police find sword and crossbow in gang weapon cache.

Borneo - 3 days out of prison, meth-head rapes own sister with sword.

New Plymouth, NZ - Vikings get raided, swords stolen.

Phoenixville, PA - Coke dealer threatens to cut everyone with his sword.

Bolton, UK - Partier gets high, loses keys, threatens guests with samurai sword.

Lincoln, NE - Businessman chases customer from shop with a sword.

Omaha, NE - Man entering courthouse busted with a sword cane.